Lizard Brain – Shut the F*** Up!

Posted on November 17, 2011 | Leave a comment

Why do we insist on thrashing when we’re so close to shipping? Why is it easy to always find excuses? Why do we procrastinate? Why do we sabotage our own success? Well, the answered is wired into our system – literally so – It’s our Lizard Brain, also known as the Amygdala, or the reptilian brain!

The Lizard Brain - John Antonios

The amygdala operates behind the scenes, regulating our survival needs: food, oxygen, heart rate, blood pressure and reproduction. It is also responsible for our fight or flight reflex. It’s been described as your personal bodyguard, always scanning your surrounding environment for potential threats. So why on earth would I want to shut it up?

I think of the Lizard Brain as more of an overprotective parent, who won’t let you ride the bike because you might end up hurting yourself. It’s the part of your brain responsible for your fear, anxiety, and negativity. The Lizard Brain hates my to-don’t list, cause that’s like its credo. The closer we get to shipping, the louder the cries of the Lizard Brain. I’m certain you’ve heard it before, actually, you hear it more than once every day – it goes something like this:

Don’t quit your job, where would you get money from?

Don’t go up on stage, they might laugh at you!

Why don’t you take a nap now, it can wait … don’t worry about!

You have to keep your ego at the door, try to blend in more …

How many times do you need to fail to understand that you’re just not cut out for it … give up already!

They told us to follow the instructions to the letter … I wouldn’t recommend you do try that!

Start a blog, why would you do that … who’s going to read anyway?

Dancing, that’s not a profession, are you kidding … if you want respect in society, you need to be a doctor or an engineer … not a dancer, get real man!

You want to quit practicing medicine to pursue cooking as a career … have you completely lost your mind?

If people ask you what it is that you do, are you seriously going to tell them you’re a photographer … that’s a hobby man, not a profession, go find a job!

And the list of excuses goes on forever … we all do it – I’m certainly guilty of doing it often too, but they say, acknowledging the problem is the first step in solving it, so how do we do that? Before I answer that question, let’s first highlight the tactics used by the Lizard Brain to sabotage of success:

  • Procrastination
  • Being overly critical of our work
  • Invent Anxiety
  • Obsess over details
  • Create Excuses

Identifying the tactics allows us to recognize early on a strike by the reptilian brain and build up a defense against it. Here are some of the ways you can silence the lizard brain:

  • embrace failure and learn from it - Allow yourself to have bad ideas – see the thing with ideas, it’s not hard to come up with them, the hard part is doing something about it … don’t worry about it being the perfect planned idea, most of them aren’t, but you’ll never know until you ship. So what if it fails, you’ll come up with another one, and another … most successful people today have failed one too many times before they made it!
  • do something you would have never thought of doing? get up in front of a group of people and sing (even if you can’t, actually specially if you can’t) … or take something you have at home and try to sell it to someone, and see how it makes you feel, note down what you learn about yourself in the process … surprise yourself, you might actually like it!

In short, I would recommend that you do everything your Lizard Brain tells you not to do …

More often than not, the negative results of a “What if” scenario are far less than positive outcomes. Here’s only one example, of which I have many:

You’re in an elevator, your boss is there, you have this idea that you wanted to share with her … your lizard brain tells you to shut up and go to your office and let the day go by without embarrassing yourself … do the complete opposite to that, tell her about it – what’s the worst that could happen? She might completely ignore the idea, or laugh at it? Now, think of the magnitude of positive outcomes that might come out of it – she might tell you to schedule a meeting to discuss it further, she might ask you to prepare a study and present to the board, she might ask you to join her for lunch to discuss it with the partners … and so man more possibilities!

The Lizard Brain sabotages your success by camouflaging itself with logic – tell it to Shut the F*** Up!

Think About It!

Book & Article Recommendations on the Subject:

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The Personal Branding – To-DON’T list!

Posted on October 26, 2011 | 11 Comments

Saturday, October 22, 2011 marked a milestone in my Personal Branding Coaching career. As part of my personal brand plan, one of my targets was to get my personal branding message across the TED platform. Thanks to TEDxTanta, I was able to share the Personal Branding – To DON’t List with a wonderful crowd. In that same spirit of sharing the knowledge, I’m laying out the 7-points list, in the hope that the readers take this list and convert it into an action list.

A while back, I spoke about the 10 Commandments of Personal Branding, which basically laid out the basics rules that should be followed as you build your brand. Serving that same purpose, I developed a more practical list addressing the basic To-DON’T when it comes to maximizing your potential that was inspired from my working with different students and listening to their concerns post graduation.

John Antonios - Personal Branding To-DON'T List

Don’t Waste Time: to understand what I’m talking about, I want you to try to measure how much time you spend on the phone per day – be it answering calls, or text messages, or BBMs, etc … The problem is that every time you do so, it takes you an average of 25 minutes to regain absolute focus on what you were doing! If you do the math, you’d realize that it’s a great amount of time lost. This is only one example of how we waste time during in our daily routine. Recommendations Work in chunks of time at full throttle (like 90 min) and then take a break of 10 min to recover. Similarly, do so throughout your work week, and then take a full day of complete unwinding. Leave your emails, laptops, phones … and just use that day to reenergize! Read a book, spend time with your friends & family, go hiking …. whatever you do just make sure it’s a stress free day. Following this methodology, you’ll notice the ability to get more work done with less effort – this is working smart!
Don’t Blame Others: The easiest thing to do when something bad happens to us is to blame others. Ironically, we always attribute the good stuff to us, but NEVER the bad stuff – the latter is always someone else’s fault. Even as kids at school, when we fail an exam and we’re asked about it, we instantly say something along those lines “That B#$% gave me an F“, but when we score a high-grade, we proudly walk around flaunting our achievement saying “I got an A+” – when in fact, you were responsible for both results. Unfortunately, the latter situation is not limited to our high-school days, we do it on a daily basis. The jobs we’re in, the treatment at the office, the friends we have, the money we earn … if you don’t like them, you’re the only one to blame, there’s no one else! Recommendations Instead of wasting time blaming others for our current situation, why not try reflecting on it and learning from it. This will prune you for a better future!
Don’t Complain: this brings us to one of the worst possible habits that destroy our brand bit by bit. Some people blame their misfortunes on others, and others find nothing better to do than complain about it. “I have the worst luck in the world”, “I hate my job”, “I can’t stand my boss”, “They expect me to survive till the end of the month on that”, “I hate my major” … Complaining about it, is actually the easy way out (just like blaming others); but the problem is that it won’t make it any better. Recommendations why not do something about it. if you don’t like your job, why don’t you quit? trust me, you can waste the same amount of money doing nothing if you take opportunity cost into account. So stop complaining, and starting doing something about it!
Don’t Comply: “I am majoring in medicine because my parents wanted me to”, “I am veiled because society expects me to”, “I’m arriving to work at 8:00am because of company policy”, “I am going through 6 months training because its mandatory” … I see people all around me diluting their brand in order to fit in, and be accepted. Recommendations Stop trying to fit in, when you should be trying to stand out. Dare to be different! You can’t live your life trying to please others, and you can’t allow others to live their lives through you. You need to live your own life, the way you want to. Don’t be a number, just a face in the crowd … defy the norm, be crazy … trust me, it’s much better than being normal (at least you have your excuse)!
Don’t Be Afraid: ”What if I fail”, “What if she says no”, “What if there’s something really scary inside”, “What if I no body likes my work”, “What if they laugh at me” … we comply because we’re afraid. We’re always afraid because we seek recognition from the people around us. Recommendations Don’t allow yourself to live with the “What if” question … look back at the “What ifs” I had mentioned … now imagine the other side of that coin; you’ll notice that the worst case scenario does not stand a chance with a multiple possibilities that lie on the other end of that spectrum … Embrace your fear, welcome the unknown, accept the change! Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing something over and over again, and expecting a different result. If you want to reach great success, you have to be willing to go where no one else is willing to go – you have to remove the fear factor!
Don’t Pretend:  people are walking around in masks, and it’s very tiring to do so. The mask you were with your in-laws, the mask at the office, the mask with your friends … so many pretend roles, we forgot how to be ourselves. Recommendations Don’t plagiarize your identity, dare to be different. Remember Personal Branding is not a beauty pageant, you’re not trying to have everyone like you, in fact, a good indicator to a well positioned Personal Brand is when there are people that hate you. You’re not a mass product, your brand should serve a niche, and to that particular niche, all you need to do, is be YOU.
Don’t Compromise: When asked what salary Layla expected in the new job she was applying for, her answer was “uh … it doesn’t really matter, I’m more interested in the experience” – the HR manager heard “perfectly naive, I can underpay her and look good in front of management at the annual reviews”; so he said “OK, we’re offering 500 USD all-inclusive” – Layla said yes to the offer, even though she thinks her work is worth at least 1000 USD, but she compromised out of fear! Recommendations Never compromise – if you believe that you are worth what you’re asking for, than don’t settle for anything less … and make sure to ask for it! Remember what I always say, “YOU SHY, YOU DIE”
Hang on to that to-Don’t list – you can print out the picture and hang it on your desk – I’m daring you to try following the list for one month, and if it doesn’t work, you can spit in my face! Think About It!

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Branding 2.0 for NGOs

Posted on October 1, 2011 | Leave a comment

Nebny Masr LogoOn Wednesday, September 28, 2011, I had the honor and pleasure of discussing the subject of Branding 2.0 for NGOs as part of a joint collaboration conference between Microsoft Egypt, UNDP and ICT Trust Fund, entitled “Nebny Masr” or “Building Egypt,” that was hosted by the Sawy Culture Wheel in Zamalek. Over 200 NGOs from all over Egypt gathered to learn how to make the best use of technology in fighting for their cause (read more …).

The truth is Branding for NGOs is not very different from branding any other product/service or even personal branding. During my presentation, I asked the audience if they agreed that fundraising is the main problem of NGOs, to which I got a confirmation of more than 90%. However, that is not true.

Money is not an obstacle, nor is it a goal!

Contributor/Donors are all around and they do have the money, but we need to take a closer look at their thought process.

  • Transparency – Donors would like to know if their donations are being spent in the right place and for the right cause.
  • Conversion – Donors attention span is similar to any consumer, continuously bombarded by different messages. Once the donor has landed on the NGO’s site, knowing how he/she can help should be obvious. The “conversion” rate from potential donor to an actual one should be made simple.
  • The Right Cause – with millions of NGOs around the world, choosing the right one to support can become a nightmare.
One of the attendees highlighted that usually most contribution are made on the basis of personal relations between the donor and a board member of the NGO – this makes financial sustainability a major problem. The institutions’ success (or in this case, survival) cannot solely be dependent on certain individuals. 

So if money is not the problem facing NGOs, then what is? Branding! Yes, the right branding allows NGOs to stand out from the crowd and earn the attention of the “right” donor.

Right donor? Just like any other brand, an NGO should never try to position itself as a crowd pleaser and seek the attention of everybody  - it should aim at staying true to the cause it serves and the values its build on. The right donor is the one that shares similar values and beliefs.

But what strategy should NGOs follow to brand themselves? The one I’d recommend is Storytelling. We can all remember a story from when were 5, even younger … as humans, we always relate to stories! Storytelling is the perfect branding tool: unique, memorable, and sharable. Seth Godin detailed the art of great story telling that I think you should all read.

Christina Muntean spoke of four types of storytelling for NGOs:

  1. Character-driven storytelling
  2. Action-driven storytelling
  3. Atmosphere-driven storytelling
  4. Emotion-driven storytelling
Not only is it important to find your story, it is also crucial to choose the right media to tell it. Social Media serves as an ideal medium of communication given the perks that come with it: Low entry cost, reach, simplicity, diversity of tools and options, and much more! So what’s keeping you from getting your story out there, Think About It!
I promised the attendees of the Nebny Masr conference that I would upload the presentation and I do keep my promises! Branding 2.0 for NGOs by John Antonios (just right-click and save)

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Personal Branding – To Thyself Be True

Posted on September 9, 2011 | 8 Comments

Scene: Church – Confession Booth

John: Bless me father for I have sinned, it’s been 3 months since my last blog post …

Priest: Son, I’m not sure absolution applies in this case, you need a miracle … 3 months!!! you’re alone on this one!

Had to start with some humor – they call this in psychology a defense mechanism … you might wonder why i’m resorting to humor, and the answer is simple, i’ve failed my reader and I haven’t posted anything in over 3 months. I wish I could blame it on work and the lack of time, but I believe we can always make time … so for failing you I apologize, but I promise to pick the pace once again. So without further adieu, let’s focus on today’s post.

I’m sure you’ve seen me talk and write about authenticity with regards to personal branding on several occasions – in fact, “thou shall be true to thyself” is the first commandment of Personal Branding. Today, I received my daily google alert digest on personal branding and to my horror, I came across an article featured in Fast Company entitled Personal Branding: Have You Identified Your Niche Yet? The author of that post basically asks you to identify your target audience and customize your brand accordingly!!! I don’t know about you, my dear reader, but in my opinion, this goes against everything I’ve been talking about since the creation of this blog. This is exactly why personal branding “haters”, well, hate it and call us posers, fake, etc … We have demoted Personal Branding to mere branding … forget authenticity, forget the REAL you, just follow the money and if I say dance, guess what, you’ll throw a party!

Personal Branding is not a beauty pageant – you should not be seeking everybody’s approval. Here’s a rule of thumb: if everybody loves your brand, then there’s a big chance you’re lying to yourself and in turn to others. You are neither Coke nor Pepsi, fighting over the same customer, who couldn’t tell the difference in a blind tasting to save his or her life … you are Layla, Tim, Ahmed, Mariam … with all your flaws, mood swings, like and dislikes, bad days, weird habits … don’t forget the “Person” part in “Personal Branding” – you are human and nobody’s asking you to be otherwise. If everybody were perfect, then everybody would be the same, and referring to us in numbers wouldn’t really make much of a difference. It’s our imperfections that make us stand out, that make us shine and be the best we can be.

Think of all the big names in music – Freddie Mercury (Queen), Elton John, Michael Jackson, Madonna, and the list continues … what do these people have in common? They dared to be different … they certainly had their fans and most certainly their haters. Michael Jackson didn’t stop grabbing his groin just because you found that appalling, Freddie didn’t stop wearing pink because you thought that is too gay, Madonna didn’t dress up in turtle necks because you thought her clothes are too slutty, Elton John didn’t start playing the drums cause you thought the piano is lame … So even though, some of you might hate them, but they have certainly earned your attention and they will forever be remembered because they were true to their brand and certainly stayed the course against all odds.

Forget finding your niche, find yourself first. If you do that, and communicate that wholeheartedly then “your niche” will come to you. You will earn that right only then! The trick is to be comfortable in your own skin, not someone else’s. Think About It!

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5 Indispensable Lessons in Consulting

Posted on May 6, 2011 | 4 Comments

If you’re following up on my blog posts, you would have probably noticed that it’s been over a month since my last post – the reason is I’ve been busy … busy learning on the job! I wanted to share my recent lessons with you my trusted reader

Lesson #1 – Not all that glitters is gold

Issue

A lesson that dates back to the 12th century certainly still applies today and ironically we still fall for it! Gold takes on many shapes and forms – even non monetary ones, like fame.

“If I take on this client, I will be known as the consultant who handled this and that … it would set me in a league of my own … I will go down in history” that’s what I told myself! I was blinded by temptation, by the glittering gold.

Recommendation

Here are some of the questions I should have asked:

  • Do you believe in the project? To answer this question, I recommend you remove all personal rewards (that can be directly or indirectly exchanged at the bank), and think about it. So rephrasing the question sounds something like this: “Had you been doing this project for free, would you still go for it?”
  • Are you happy working on the project? Are you going to be happy as this project progresses?
  • What are you giving up? personal time? other businesses? family? friends? and is it worth it?

lesson #2 – setting expectations is easy / managing expectations is a different ball game

Issue

As a consultant, I make to set clear expectations and align with the client on the deliverables – that is the easy part, trust me! Once the engagement starts, this is when the client starts introducing new requests to the pre-agreed project scope. So how do you manage the deliverables in a timely manner provided the resources limitation presented by scope expansion? I promise you, this is not an oddity, this is more of the norm when it comes to doing business, especially, in the MENA region.

Recommendation

When quoting your client for services to be rendered, I recommend you leave a small buffer to be used in such situations. If you’re concerned about the ethical implications associated to such behavior, you need not – the solution is quite simple: in case you were one of the lucky few that managed to find a client that sticks to the deliverables laid out in the proposal, then you can use this money to add a little something extra, beyond the project scope!

LESSON #3 – DON’T ASSUME THE CLIENT UNDERSTANDS

Issue

We might both be speaking in English, Arabic, or even Chamicuro but don’t assume we’re speaking the same language. Don’t mistake the nodding as an affirmation of comprehension – it actually masks ignorance that is concealed with the “I KNOW” mask.

In many situations, I have come across clients that request something quite specific from me, for example a marketing strategy, or a social media strategy, or even a web 2.0 site with integrated social media platforms … you’d think they know what they’re talking about – well, that is another assumption that will get your in trouble.

Recommendation

When presenting your client with a proposal, make sure to explain every intricate detail and the only assumption you are allowed to make is that “THE CLIENT KNOWS NOTHING” …

When a client asks you for something specific, make sure they understand what they are asking for, and as a good consultant, you should actually step back and see if the client really needs what they’re asking for, maybe you can recommend a better solution … always remember, the client shouldn’t be laying out the solutions, they should be stating the problem, it’s your job to do the former.

LESSON #4 – MAKE SURE YOU ARE IN PERFECT ALIGNMENT WITH YOUR PARTNER 

Issue

I was fortunate enough to partner up with a great entrepreneur, Moataz Kotb. Obviously, that is not the issue! However, he is more tolerant that I am when it comes to dealing with financials.  Recently, I noticed that clients pick up on that element and try to play on Moataz’s kindheartedness behind my back.

Recommendation

Make sure your always aligned with your partner on everything. Make sure you tell each other everything, so no one would be able to blindside you. Your position should be solid and unified. No decisions should be taken independently without consulting your partner first.

One more thing, avoid clients that try to do that … it is a clear reflection of their standards!

Lesson #5 – A consultant is only as good as the client

Issue

This probably one of the first lessons I learned as an consultant. You are sometimes tempted to take on a project that seem quite easy and the client is usually completely oblivious of what they are looking for … this is a disaster waiting to happen, trust me.

Recommendation

The more the client knows the smoother your engagement will be. Remember the client is a reflection of your work, he’s the canvas you’re painting your master piece on. If the canvas is torn or worn out, regardless of your skills, your final work will fall short of your expectations and create devastation.

You have to learn how to say NO to some projects – remember your Personal Brand value statement – what you stand for, your principles, your guidelines, your personal commandments.

Have you experienced any of the lessons above in your work experience? Do you have valuable lessons to share that we can add to this list? Think About It!

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